A Variation On An Archaic, Mithraic Theme
What can I say? Even stonehearted old curmudgeons like myself soften, shed a tear, and get all icky sentimental when the birthday of my favorite celestial orb approaches. After all, it’s not every day you get to brain a bull with a hammer and cut his throat from ear to ear, and with a dog and a snake to help you do it too. Ask our friend above (later, after he’s finished his chore). I just love this canary yellow color. Do you think girls think less of boys if they kiss on the first date? The ladybug is the policeman of the insect world. All roads lead to Romance.
Don’t bother to thank me for helping you to get in the holiday spirit. Don’t bother to curse or damn me for my heathen, pagan maundering (I’m already in horrible trouble). Go buy your sacrificial cow today and beat the Mithras rush. A little extra fodder now saves a lot of future fuss later. And in conclusion, I’d like to wish all of you a Hairy Mithras and an Ahura-Mazda.
Disciple of Mithras
Enemy of Ahriman
Beloved of Ormuzd
– Marduk the O’Mellon
P.S.: The Latin slogan above translates as “Post No Bills.” Please try to observe this.